You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
