Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
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Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
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For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
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