Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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