is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
