im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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