can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
