OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
