she woke up with a sticky ear
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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