Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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