Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
