when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
there was a trapeze. enough said
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
