That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize