i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
