STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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