I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
