well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
