Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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