i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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