Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
