some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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