woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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