You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
