But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
