We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
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Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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