I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
