2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
