the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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