I need help removing her.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
