Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
