I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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