Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I am available for nakedness
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize