Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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