shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We smell like vodka and hangover
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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