You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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