Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
