Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i now understand why vodka
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize