I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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