I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
