Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
