so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
