you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
