For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
