Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
foreskin is a definite game changer
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
