Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
