I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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