I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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