Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
