You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
