Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
