So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
