Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
