I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
