I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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