i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
