I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
