I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I supernannyed him into submission
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
