I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
