He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize