Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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