There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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