also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I said "one day" and that day is not today
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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