Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
