I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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