quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
