I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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