Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Randomize
