I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Two words: blizzard sex
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
